Early Morning Musings

Are you ever woken by words?

Swirling around endlessly, beckoning to be released.

Tormenting you until you put pen to paper.  

Always appearing at the most inconvenient of times:

In the middle of the night,

In the early morning hours.  

Your body and mind plead with them:

Let us rest for a few more hours.

Unsuccessful.

Defeated, you rise

And let the deluge of words pour from your mind,

Washing over the page.

No matter how insignificant or incoherent,

The words have been set free.

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It’s five o’clock in the morning.  I sit here in the sweet silence, because your wiggles woke me.  You are 37 weeks old today. Each day brings us closer to your arrival.  Each day brings an onslaught of new thoughts and emotions,  bubbling up at seemingly insignificant moments.  Washing over me like waves.

Yesterday, I sat on the deck, book propped on my swollen belly, surrounded by the gentle sound of rainfall.  As I inhaled the cool, crisp mountain air, a hummingbird flitted up to a flower basket, prodding the bright pink blossoms in search of sweetness.  I felt an instant surge of emotion rise up through my body, tears welling in my eyes as I reflexively rubbed my belly. What absolute beauty our world holds – a beauty that I can’t wait for you to experience.

How can such a simple, fleeting moment bring me to tears?  How can I already feel such a deep love for you? You have already changed me irrevocably.

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The calm before the storm.  

The quiet before the chaos.  

The last, fading moments 

of lives about to change forever.  

You stretch and squirm,

adjusting to your increasingly cramped quarters.  

The only home you’ve ever known.  

Pushing the boundaries. 

Responding to the mysterious sensations surrounding you.  

We prepare.  

We clean, organize, learn, 

and savour our moments together.

“Things will never be the same,” they say.

Of course they won’t be.  

You’ve already altered our lives.

Ever since those two little blue lines

appeared magically in front of us.

The anticipation.

The wonder.

The questioning and worrying.

You have grown so fast.

Time has passed so quickly, 

yet now it seems to slow.  

To pause.

My body urges me to relax, 

to contemplate.

Preparing me physically and emotionally

for what is to come.

The worries and hesitations

that have so long surrounded birth

swiftly disappear, 

as I realize that I’ll endure anything

just to finally hold you in my arms.  

I feel calm.  

At peace.  

Still in wonder of the miracle moving inside me.

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A bit of a departure from my usual book reviews and wrap-ups, but I hope you enjoy anyways.

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